sharing recent feelings and other unidentified things.
I am full to the brim like a cup waiting for the overflow.
I want to release the words that sit at the tip of my tongue but they are caged behind my teeth, unable to escape. I can’t put words to feelings so my bones cry out and my heart hears them, often crying with them too.
I am a soldier on the front lines—a target to my enemies and to my allies as I stand in the middle of the war, blindfolded, praying that the bullets don’t find me.
The only words I manage to spill onto the page turn into a flash flood, destroying everything in its wake—an unnatural disaster.
I hate that grief and joy can coexist. I don’t want them to be neighbors, much less friends. Resentment is my roommate and she helps pay the bills. I am ashamed that we get along.
I wonder why I write better when I am sad. How much stronger than happiness can grief be?
I grieve not because it represents defeat, but because I know that the battle has only just begun and I lack the strength to manipulate the outcome.
Pride blazes a trail of fire down my throat as I swallow it only for it to resurface with the heat of a thousand suns. I am the dragon in this tale.
I am full to the brim with feelings that grow like redwoods past the clouds in my mind and no matter how hard I try, I can’t reach them.
I wonder how the vastness of the sky can still feel so confined.
-k.a.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”. - Isaiah 55:9, NIV
Hey friends, thanks for being here. Your engagement with my work encourages me to be a consistent writer and for that I am forever grateful. If you have enjoyed what you’ve been reading so far, feel free to share with a friend. Word of mouth travels farther than you think!
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If you choose to buy me a tea, I will donate 30% my total goal of $1000 to the Women's Storybook Project of Texas. Your support will help incarcerated mothers stay connected with their children through mailing recorded stories, books, and messages of love for their children so they can hear their mother’s voice.
Thank you for investing in my words and in the lives of others.
Oh why grief and joy can coexist and it seems our deepest words come out of pain. I think all words have their place and their purpose. The emotions will come in waves like our emotions in our heart.
Your writing resonates with my soul. Thank you for sharing the most intimate side of you.